Review - Anne Lamott's Help Thanks Wow

My God box

Anne Lamott’s new book, Help Thanks Wow, The Three Essential Prayers, is a sweet, moving guidebook to what Lamott considers the three most important prayers one can utter. I love Anne’s books. Her Bird by Bird has been on my bookshelves for many years, and I especially enjoyed Traveling Mercies. One doesn’t have to be religious, or even particularly spiritual, to appreciate Help Thanks Wow, as Anne mentions in the introduction. You only have to believe that something is bigger than you, and that if you ask for help and express gratitude, things will happen in your life that will make you say “wow.”

What I love about Lamott is even though she is a firm believer in Jesus, she also knows that neither she nor Christianity (or any other organized religion) has the answers. In fact, she says, no one does, and if they try to tell you they do, they’re delusional.

Anne Lamott's Help Thanks Wow

She had me close to tears with the first section on “Help,” because what she describes is so perfectly the human condition. We all go through difficulties, and most of us will not be spared life’s harshest experiences. But, she says, just uttering the simple entreaty, “help,” can shift things within us, can allow us to give over the suffering to something bigger than we are, and that can make all the difference in our ability to handle whatever we face.

“Most good, honest prayers remind me that I am not in charge,” she writes, “that I cannot fix anything, and that I open myself to being helped by something, some force, some friends, some something. These prayers say, ‘Dear Some Something, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t see where I’m going, I’m getting more lost, more afraid, more clenched. Help.’”

And then, she says, let it go.

Lamott says she has a “God box” that she puts her prayers into, then closes the lid and lets whatever universal power is out there take care of it. It could be anything, a glove box, a crayon box. I like this idea.

For my birthday last week, a dear friend gave me a lovely wooden box with the tree of life and birds carved into the top. I have made this my God box (I just mistyped God as Dog – that works, too).

I also especially believe in the second prayer, “Thanks.” Gratitude is a powerful emotion, and I can attest to its ability to shift perspective. Every day I mindfully say thanks, for everything, and more often than not something even more serendipitous or fortuitous comes into my life. 

The final prayer, “Wow,” is a wonderful expression and acknowledgement of how wondrous life is.  Look around. You will always find something, even if it’s just a tiny hummingbird flitting around a bottlebrush tree – to be amazed about. Wow.

Help Thanks Wow is a slim volume – I read it in about an hour or so – but it packs a powerful message. And with the world we have today, it’s a message many of us need to hear.

Writing on the Stunning Northern California Coast

Near the Sea Ranch Lodge

I've just returned from a week up at Sea Ranch, north of San Francisco on the rugged Mendocino coast. It's stunningly beautiful there, and a balm for the soul. For the past three years a group of women writer friends and I have decamped together for a writing retreat, and two of those years have been at Sea Ranch.

It was once a sprawling working ranch, but was developed in the sixties with homes on vast plots with weathered siding and surrounded by natural grasses. The ranch stretches for about 13 miles along the coast, with homes scattered from the coastal bluffs and up to the hills across Highway 1. We stayed in two houses near each other, and walked on the beach and hiked through the tree-studded property. We wrote and talked and read each others' work. It was just what the doctor ordered, and I came home refreshed and relaxed and ready to tackle all the work I had left behind.

I also dropped my daughter off at her friend's tiny studio in Oakland. The two of them have plans to work and pursue their music and art, with a brief break to go to Burning Man in August. It is the first time she has struck out on her own when I have felt that she is prepared and ready to create a new life. I am very proud of her. For those of you who know about her blind kitty, little Maya-Roo is with her and Anna in their tiny place. So far all is well and they are happy. And so am I.

Deer outside our front windows. They visited us every day. This couple had two babies with them.

We had several days of fog, but mostly it was sunny and warm.

New Books from Willow Rock Authors

Two of Willow Rock’s authors have new books coming out, and a third is writing a sequel to his successful nonfiction book on investing.

Just out from Moodbooks Publishing is Michael Scott Hanrahan’s environmental thriller The Last Extinction. Biologist Christina Larson finds herself pulled into a mythic and epic journey to save the last of six sacred animal species denoted in an ancient relic unearthed in the Amazonian jungle. If she doesn't, it will mean the end of humanity as we know it. The Last Extinction is available as both an e-book and as Moodbooks’ brand-new enhanced e-book, which features beautifully animated illustrations and sound. You’ve never seen another book like it!

Michele Wolfe has been offered a contract to publish her novel, The Three Graces. College juniors Jessie, Isabel and Sara become linked in friendship by visits to hidden places only they can see. Together on a trip to Hearst Castle in California, an earth-shaking encounter with a stunning statue in the gardens binds them to the spirits of the Three Graces, Brilliance, Joy and Bloom. Under the weight of school and family problems, the girls grow to be fast friends as they struggle with who they are and what direction they should go in life. Through the gift of pendants, The Graces seem to be guiding them. But will they be able to help the girls overcome all the roadblocks along the way? You can read more about The Three Graces and Michele here. And watch for more news about the book in coming months.

Meanwhile, Kevin Bourke is working on a sequel to his 2012 book, Make Your Money Last a Lifetime, which is available in paperback and Kindle editions on Amazon. Using stories from his own experiences as a financial planner, Kevin provides excellent advice on everything from asset allocation to how to deal with the fluctuations in the stock market to handling your grown children’s requests for money. Kirkus Reviews called it “An eminently readable, authoritative little book that offers sensible advice about major financial decisions.” See what others say about this great how-to book on making your resources last as long as you do.  Kevin’s sequel will be titled Make Your Money Last a Lifetime – for Divorcees.

I am proud to have worked with all three of these exceptional authors. Check out their books today.

Overcoming Creative Blocks

I don’t believe in writer’s block, per se, but I do believe we can sometimes create blocks around creative goals. Perhaps we were discouraged as a child by a well-meaning parent or teacher. Perhaps, like me, you were told to quit daydreaming, or told that writing – or painting or dancing or acting – was fine as an avocation, but not something you should take seriously.

Recently, I asked a well-published poet whom I have known for a long time if he would read some of my poems and recommend me for a grant I was applying for. After a week, he wrote me an email and told me he thought my poems were “unremarkable,” that I should probably stick to prose, and that he couldn’t recommend them.

Well, as you can imagine, I was devastated. Not only because it was in contrast to what others had told me, but also because there was not a shred of encouragement in his assessment. No, “If you did this with the poem it would work better,” or “The form doesn’t seem to work here, have you tried this…?” or “The lines could be enlivened here with more figurative language.”

That criticism kept me from writing poetry for nearly six months. Even though, intellectually, I knew better than to put stock in it, it still cut to the core. I let it keep me from doing one of the things I love. Now, after all this time, I am tenuously picking up my pen and writing poetry again.

It is a lesson I learned a long time ago and should have heeded.

Give yourself the gift of not inviting criticism from anyone who is 1) a relative, 2) an academic (more on this in a minute) 3) a friend who doesn’t know anything about writing (or dancing, or painting, etc.) 4) anyone whom you have not paid for their professional opinion.

That said, many writers belong to critique groups, and if you have found one peopled with skilled and experienced writers whom you admire and who are already published, bravo. Writing groups can be successful. Just make sure they are helping you grow as a writer.

Now, about academics. Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way) says academics are often frustrated artists who are trained to critique, to take apart, to deconstruct. So that’s what they do. Sadly, often because they are not following their own creative path, they are particularly critical. They rarely offer the kind of encouragement artists need, especially young artists just beginning to practice their craft.

In any case, if criticism of any kind doesn’t resonate with you, disregard it.

Your writing – your art – is yours, no one else’s. Remember that. And trust in yourself and your creative gifts. Everyone’s creation is worthy.

If you find yourself truly blocked, there are a few practical things you can do to shake yourself out of it.

One is to do something else: Go for a walk, watch a good movie, take a nap, read a good book. Let your subconscious work while you focus on something else. Whenever I do this, I always come back to my writing desk with renewed energy and usually some good ideas or a solution to a writing problem. In fact, there is research that indicates that when you stop trying to force something to happen and turn your attention elsewhere, your brain takes over and solves the problem. That’s why many people recommend that you pose a question or problem to yourself just before falling asleep so your mind can work on it while you sleep.

Often the opposite works: Just begin writing, even if you write “blah, blah, blah” and continue that for three pages. Julia Cameron and Natalie Goldberg (Writing Down the Bones) both recommend this method. Just write; don’t worry about what it says or how it looks. Eventually you’ll see it turn into something.

I have journaled every morning for most of my adult life, but have recently followed Cameron’s advice and am doing it with much more intention. And you know what? I can honestly say the words are flowing more readily, and my creative side is dancing a jig.

Don’t allow others to discourage you from practicing your art. Stay on your creative path.

Inspiration Knocks

“Creativity is a scavenger hunt. It’s your obligation to pay attention to clues, to the thing that gives you that little tweak. The muses or fairies – they’re trying to get your attention.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

When I read Liz Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love, I was going through a similar life transition and deeply resonated with the book, as did millions of others. Since then, I have been intrigued to see her interest in creativity become a passion, and I have learned a lot from her. (See her amazing TED talk.)

The quote above, from the October Oprah magazine article about Gilbert and her new novel, The Signature of All Things, is a great reminder to be aware as writers.

Prompts from the universe, your muse, fairies – whatever you want to call them – are real. But hearing them requires slowing down and listening, being receptive to the creative gifts that come to us. Several times I’ve had powerful experiences like this.

More than 20 years ago I wrote a scene in a creative writing class. I really liked it, but didn’t have a clue where to take it. So I put it away and only very occasionally looked at it. I just didn’t know how it would fit into a larger story.

Then, about three years ago, I was in a dream state in the early morning, barely awake, and the story came to me. I watched the entire novel unfold in my mind’s eye. The scene I had written was clearly a prologue, and I knew the entire narrative from that beginning. I woke up and went to my desk and wrote a brief synopsis and a chapter outline. I’ve been working on the novel ever since.

More recently, I needed to work out a problem with a new nonfiction book idea. Once again, the solution – vivid and detailed – came to me in an early morning dream state.
These moments of revelation, bursts of creative genius, happen all the time, perhaps in small ways we might not necessarily recognize as divinely inspired. But I know they are.

From the perfect word suddenly popping into one’s head, to the discovery of a title for that article or book that had remained elusive.

The muse exists. It works. But you have to let it in, be receptive, invite it to inhabit your creative space. Meditation works, so does journaling. I do both. Listening to music, walking on the beach or through the woods also is effective. Any immersion in Nature will invite your muse to visit. Thoreau went to Walden Pond. Wordsworth walked the English Lake District and gazed upon fields of daffodils.

Muses don’t like to be rushed and they don’t come on command. But with a little openness and invitation, they will come.

Lyric from a Dana Gioia Poem

This final stanza in Dana Gioia's poem "The Lost Garden" really spoke to me this morning. What a beautiful lyric.

The trick is making memory a blessing,


 

To learn by loss the cool subtraction of desire,


Of wanting nothing more than what has been,


To know the past forever lost, yet seeing


Behind the wall a garden still in blossom.

(From his collection Interrogations at Noon, Graywolf Press, 2001.)